Happy 2017 pals!
Blogmas kinda fell on its arse, didn't it? Or rather I fell on my arse. Which is why I'm writing this post. Middle of December, I fractured my first ever bone. I've fracture my upper arm/elbow. One Monday morning I tripped over Rufus and spent my evening night in A&E after realising the pain was getting worse. So since then I have been signed off work and I now spend my days doing a lot of sitting about, feeling a bit sorry for myself and watching Dragonball Z. FYI - if you're into Manga, I totally recommend watching it.
I had to let Blogmas, and well the blog, slide. I'm literally typing this with one finger so there is no way I could have kept up with the demands of it. I can't schedule tweets, photography is hard work and I just feel completely down and out with the whole thing. I really wanted to do Blogmas to see what happens traffic wise as well as a challenge for myself. It's one of my aims for 2017 to make a month of blogging every day. It won't be till later in the year until my arm is fully healed though.
To be honest, I've had more negative days than good days. Whenever I pushed myself too much I had to spend the next day in bed because the pain was too much. Negative days aren't only filled by pain, they were also filled with negative thoughts. I spent the first 2 weeks living in tracksuit bottoms, with crazy hair and depending on people for pretty much everything. For someone who does quite a lot for themselves to nothing, emotionally, it was a set back. I've truly had to focus myself most days and really celebrate the mini victories.
It has made me realise who is really there for me. My parents have been ace, as per usual and have turned into my hairdressers, taxi drivers, cooks and everything else in between. The Geek's been wonderful and not only done all of the above but put up with every bad mood and negative vibe that I've thrown at myself. My friends have been wonderful; constantly checking up on me, keeping me company and even helping me out with the Christmas shopping. Genuinely, I cannot thank these people enough.
It's also realised how much being at home can be a lonely place. Before The Geek broke up for Christmas, I spent my time at home with Rufus. It was incredibly lonely. It was lonely not being able to potter around the house and clear up. It was lonely not being able to go and drive to see people and it was lonely not being able to take Rufus out for a walk. It was lonely not being able to sit and type out my thoughts on this blog. I didn't know how much I depended on the outside world and how much I needed to be able to do my mundane day-to-day tasks. I really rely on my morning dog walks to be able to get my thoughts together and tackle the day ahead. We all moan about routine and work but it's one of the things I've really missed, and my independence. I missed that more than anything.
I'm slowly on the mend. Days are getting easier but I'm trying not to push myself too much. I didn't want to end 2016 this way nor start 2017 in a negative place. But, we've gotta run with the punches. This is something that has made me stronger and made things come into light.