I’m in a bit of a weird place at the moment.
I feel less resilient, not as strong and more fragile in the world at the moment. I feel that in my twenties I’ve become more sensitive to the world. I seem to take step backs more to heart and I become more upset over things. It’s weird, because, 17 year old me wouldn’t have stood for this. She’d have thought, ‘Fuck it’ and moved onto the next thing. I was more balshy and I didn’t really take any shit. I can’t really fathom why it feels that I have changed so much in 8 years and, as I seem to be experiencing more failure recently, I don’t quite know how to deal with it.
2015 hasn’t been the kindest year to me. In essence, it’s been a pretty pants year in the Blogger & The Geek household and those around us. With a real lack of money, feeling like our lives are on hold and feeling like I’ve been having to hold my head above water most of the year; my real highlights have been having Rufus in my life and blogging. For those two things, I’m grateful for, but, they also come with their own failures and emotional whirlwinds. I spent Thursday night driving home from dog training with a sense of disappointment. We completely flunked it and Rufus slipped his collar so he spent fifteen minutes running around dog training having the time of his life where no one could catch him. It was like a scene in Marley & Me and in hindsight, it was hilarious. But, I drove home thinking I was the worse dog owner in the world and cursing myself for not being able to spend more time training him.
This post isn’t all doom and gloom though as, in all honesty, I’ve been feeling like this for a while. Though I still have my bad days where I feel like complete crap and wonder when is it going to get any better, I’ve also come up with ways to help me deal with it. I’m feeling like I’m coming out the other side and accepting that it’s OK to not be the hardass I was when I was a teenager. Here’s whats helping me:
Having a cry and moving on
There’s nothing worse than not letting your emotions out. I’m not the most open person in the world and there’s only a select few who I’ll open up too. I hate crying in front of people as I’m a pretty ugly crier. Sometimes, there’s nothing better than having an early night and letting it all out. Letting your emotions out allows you to move on and deal with the problem. After I’ve had my little cry-fest, I feel like I’m able to tackle so much more the next day.
Change of scenery
Being stuck in your own head is the worst thing in the world, especially, when it’s full of negativity. The past few times when I’ve felt like crap, The Geek and I get Rufus and drive to our local forest for a super long dog walk. Personally, I find that I switch off when I’m walking around and find the fresh air does me a world of good. It’s also therapeutic to chat without being distracted by laptops and phones. It’s crazy some of the things we chat about on our dog walks. Honestly, if Rufus could speak, he’d definitely tell us to shut up!
Putting it into perspective
This is my favourite of them all. I’m guilty of being consumed in my own life that you forget that someone around you is suffering too. In this day and age, we’re all consumed in our own thoughts and forget what is going on in the world around us. So, you didn’t get the job you wanted but at least you’re alive. At least there’s a roof over your head. There’s so much misery and heartache going on in other countries, it makes you so much more thankful for what you’ve got.
Don’t let it defeat you
The one thing I’ve learnt with failure is that once you’ve failed; you can either learn from it or let it defeat you. I’m guilty of wallowing in my own self pity and escaping into a black hole of Netflix and wine, but, there comes a point where you don’t feel any better. You gotta get back on the horse and try again. Keep throwing out the job applications, keep chugging a long at work. Sit back and try and work out why it keeps going wrong. Try a different approach. Just keep trying because it will get better.
These are only things that have helped me in a particular bad time and even writing them down in this post has made me feel better.
What helps you during a bad time?