This year has probably been the most grown up year of my life. I’ve been planning a wedding, I’ve had to make a budget and actually stick to it and I’ve had to not book any spontaneous holidays abroad. The Geek and I have talked about mortgages, moving further into Birmingham and actually life changing things. We nearly got a second dog but adult us talked ourselves out of it.
I’ve thought more on where I want my career to go; what I actually want to do and what will make me happy. Whilst paying the bills and trying to live our best life.
Hell, I’ve even started getting up earlier on the weekends.
It’s a strange feeling at 26 and 11 months old, I still feel like 17 year old me in my head. I’m doing the grown up things, like planning a wedding, keeping down a full time job, a dog owner and potentially thinking about a mortgage. But, then there’s the other flip side of the scale. Some days I come home from my adult 9-5 job and cook chicken dippers, potato smilies and spaghetti hoops for my tea. Then I re-watch all the Harry Potter films. My bedroom is still a floor-robe and I also can’t be arsed to make my lunch every single day. I still have to visit the supermarket twice a week because I’ve forgotten something, or go round to my Mum and Dad’s and pinch it off them. My washing basket is full 90% of the time and I usually forget to put the washing in the tumble dryer once a week so I have to wash it again.
Do you ever think, when will it all just click? When am I going to be an organised, adult enough human being to make lunch 5 days a week and not book annual leave because I need a nap. I don’t know what it is and I know I’m not alone on it. Part of me thinks my school life is a reason why I feel like a fraud. We were never taught how to adult. I remember my Mum telling me how much about cooking she learnt in school, whereas, I was taught how to count fruit salad pieces. I haven’t got a clue on tax codes, mortgages, ISA’s or any of that part of life. I’m just bimbling along – constantly asking people on ‘how do I do this part of adulting please?’
I still feel like 17 year old me, except I drink .more tea and haven’t got my fast metabolism anymore. I still consult my Mum and Dad for advise on the big things. Sometimes I don’t and do things on a whim. Maybe the rest will come with time and experience; when I haven’t got to ask another person on how to adult.