I’m not one for New Years Resolutions and the whole NEW YEAR NEW ME bull. I’m a firm believer that you can make a change in your life at any point – it’s just taking those first steps. Although a New Year can be a fantastic way to wipe clean the slate and start afresh, it’s not really my bag.
I didn’t want to come up with some half-assed resolutions that I’d stick to for a few weeks and then go back into my own rut. For the past few months I’ve had my own personal battles with who I am. I addressed it vaguely in this post. I feel as if that friendships that once were the strongest in my life are now the weakest and that by putting other people before myself, my own mental and physical health was suffering. By the end of November I was completely beaten and I was at the bare foundations of what I could hold. There was nothing left to give and I felt completely isolated. I felt like only a select few that were helping to build me back up again. No one really understood that I didn’t want to talk about stuff but I wanted a distraction. It was a horrible, dark and lonely few weeks and not a place I want to return too. With that in mind, there’s only one resolution that I want to stick with and that’s to try and be the best version of myself. I want to be the positive, sparkly version which can bring happiness to people, and most importantly, to myself.
So, how am I going to achieve it? I spent the past few weeks trying to figure out what really makes me happy and which people in my life make me shine. A lot of my unhappiness last year came from making certain friendships a priority when they only held me as an option. I remember getting really upset and anxious towards the end of the year about people when they seemed to hold very little regard for myself. I’m learning to take a step back from these people and let the natural friendship run. I’ve accepted that we’re at different stages in life, which is fine, but it doesn’t not mean that I am less important or my feelings and life are not as fulfilling or fun.
I’m working on saying no to people. I’m a real people pleaser and I’m guilty of saying yes to things when it’s really something I don’t wanna do. Writing it all down, it seems really weird on why I actually do this. I guess I have some real need to please people and I hold their happiness above my own. I need to gain back control though, because it’s costing me my own time and money to keep saying yes. I need to embrace the fact that there’s nothing wrong with saying no and wanting to sit on my own sofa, with my hound and drinking wine. It’s OK.
I’m going to try and be a little more financial savvy. I felt deflated last year as I made no effort towards saving for a house. It’s the next little dream for both the Geek and I to actually own our own home. Owning our own house means being able to do what we want to it, having more pooches and feeling more secure and cemented. I spent a while assessing my bank statements to see where I can make cuts and savings. It’s ridiculous how much I spend on food – either at work or going out for dinner. I’m making a pledge to stop spontaneously going out for meals or ordering in, just because I can’t be arsed to cook, and pocket that money towards the house fund. Our next meal out alone is going to be on our 6 year anniversary at the end of March which should pay for itself!
I’m very much one of those bored eaters who snacks when they are bored. Although I’m relatively OK with my shape and weight, I know I could do better on the whole eating front. It’s not about cutting things out because without carbs, crisps and cheese, I would be an emotional heap, but it’s about making the right choices. I want to be the super woman who is prepared and not doing 8pm trips to Morrisons because I fancy a bar of chocolate. I want to have carrot sticks on tap and actually eat the fruit in my fruit bowl. I also want to keep up my daily walks with my Mum. We usually go on a 6km walk every other day, which is a fantastic way to catch up on our days and beats just chilling in front of the tele!
In my pledge to be a happier version of myself, I took a step forward and did something for me. I booked an overnight stay in Copenhagen for me and the other half to spend some time together and just explore. I love city breaks and the flights were going for £13 a person was a deal breaker. At the end of the day, I can easily spend £13 in the pub so why not book a flight and just go? I really can’t wait to get there now.
I know this has been one of those super rambly posts but I do hope you’ll join me on embracing the sparkly, happier and best version of Becky. If you have any tips or advise on helping me achieve this then please do let me know!