Nothing reminds you more of becoming older than getting a letter than the DVLA writing to you saying, ‘Oh hey girl, now you’re entering your late twenties, you better update your driving licence photo’
I won’t lie; I may have done a little cry. It only seems like yesterday when I first got my provisional driving licence and took the photographs in the little photobooth hungover in Birmingham New Street station. Now being told to change it; I won’t lie it was a nice creeping reminder that girl is getting old.
It was another reminder that I’m getting closer and closer to 30 and yet again reminding me that I am still bimbling my way through adult life. Still reminding me that I don’t know if it will ever click and if I will ever think I’ve got this. It’s pretty scary and it’s that constant reminder that, actually, I’m in my late 20’s now. 27 is the year I get married, and maybe possibly have a mortgage. It’s the year where everything on paper says I’m a freaking grown up.
I didn’t like being 26, although it started in the best way it could have done. I remember feeling so content on my 26th birthday; we had just flown into Berlin, we were drunk on local beer and full of burritos. It was that whirlwind happiness that surrounds you and engulfs your soul It was my travel happy because I was doing my favourite thing in the world. Ever since that trip, I can report it’s slowly gone down hill.
26 has been one of the hardest years I’ve ever endured in my adult life. I’ve been defeated, broken, had to push through and try and sparkle when I really haven’t wanted too, I’ve had to fight for what I believe in and I drowned by sorrows far too many times. I questioned every single element of who I am, what I’m doing and what I’m trying to achieve in this crazy adventure of life. I’ve had to rely on so many people to keep me strong, keep me stable and keep injecting that tiny bit of faith in me. I wouldn’t have thought half my friend’s would know how much of a support they’ve been the past year, even if it was just getting my hammered on a Friday night, it was a distraction and one I really needed.
I did things I never thought I would do like completing a run for charity with my dog. I also felt that I was at breaking point and I didn’t know what to do because this isn’t who I am. I stuck up for myself more and fought even when I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
But I got past it. I finally truly learnt in a professional and personal sense what my worth is. I learnt that I’m not invincible but on the flipside, I learnt that every single bit of my time is truly worth something.
I know that I’m bloody well stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. That’s what 26 taught me; that I’m strong. That I’m not as quiet as I ever thought I was and that I can take the big bad wolves of the world down. That I am worth more than what people who do not know me or have any interest in me think I am. That it’s good to be different and channel everything that I’ve ever been taught. One of my manager always told me that I was going to do great things and I always took that to heart and for some reason, it’s been one of the things that kept me going.
I also really found out what makes me happy and what keeps me ticking every single day. I’ve realised what I want from a career, what I want from my life and the people who surround me. And I’m so goddamn happy that people have left my life who bring me down and do not empower me.
So, yes, I may have to change my driving licence photo and I am one step closer to thirty. But, 26 I’m so glad to see that back of you – but thank you. Thank you for making me see my worth, my strengths and truly making me see what made me happy.
27 – I’m so goddamn ready for you.