I did that super typical newly married thing..
I had all my hair chopped off.
A few Saturday’s ago, my hairdresser and friend Rachel popped to my house to give my hair a much needed cut. I did the typical girl thing that ever since we got engaged I said, I’m growing it for my wedding day. For then only less than 2 weeks after the day, to have it all cut off. Rachel warned me about it months before, knowing I’d have it done, but I was never quite prepared for how liberating it would make me feel.
It was no surprise that I didn’t like wedding planning. I hate people who aren’t as organised as me and I must have lost a good few weeks of my life chasing people for answers. It was also part of me being a control freak and clearly not being the best delagater. But, mixed with a really bad job at the time, a horrible dark and messy time in my life; I really really hated wedding planning.
I never felt like a particularly good finance. I spent a good part of last year generally feeling down and defeated and letting a black cloud of sadness overshadow this exciting time of my life. I let things slip and fell more into this spiralling darkness. Coming home from work every day, feeling defeated, and having to plan a huge event that was full of happiness and love was a huge freaking ask.
When I got my new job; part of the darkness was lifted. But we all know that learning a job and the final months of wedding prep aren’t the easiest. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel at least.
But I eventually felt I reached the end of the tunnel the moment all my hair was on my living room floor.
I felt as if I’d just broken up with a boyfriend and you go dye your hair or get it all cut off. It was as if I could finally say goodbye to this crappy time of my life and close the chapter on it. And say, BAM! I’m well and truly done with you and I’ve got a sassy new haircut to prove it.
It’s as if I’ve skipped into the chapter of being a wife with such a huge bang. I feel bolder, I feel stronger and more stable. I feel like I’ve got my identity back and no longer overshadowed by my never ending to do list or having to work late. Or the pressure it was never going to be all sorted and be pulled off in time
I may have felt like a pants fiancée but I am an absolute cracking wife.